Nina Rung is a criminologist, gender scientist, debater and author of several books, published by her own publisher Rebel Books. Nina is driven by the goal of creating an equal society free from violence and abuse. In connection with the launch of three of Nina's books at OLIKA, we took the opportunity to ask her a few questions. We talked about, among other things, how we can equip young girls with self-confidence and harmful norms that create inequality.
Hi Nina! Tell us who you are and what you do!
– I am a person who is driven by the goal of creating gender equality and a society without violence and abuse. I have therefore worked on the issue of violence and gender for 20 years and for the same reason have trained as a criminologist and gender scientist. I have investigated violence in close relationships and sexual crimes against children at the Stockholm Police, trained on the issues for seven years full-time, run violence prevention projects and have founded Huskurage (to get more people to act against violence) and I have written several books on the subjects! Most recently Blommor och bin which was published this year!
How can one best explain how patriarchy operates and affects both girls and boys from an early age?
– The vast majority of people, whether you are a girl, a boy or non-binary, are affected by inequality. Talking about how it negatively affects boys, guys and men is a way to meet guys and also increase understanding. Inequality creates harmful norms for everyone and we are affected by them in many ways that create problems both for individuals and for society at large.
From an early age, you can talk about the fact that there are different ideas about how things should be, such as boys usually having short hair and pants and girls long hair and dresses, or that you should be in certain ways dependent on your gender. But that it doesn't have to be that way, but that you can create it yourself. The older the children get and the more experience they have of the unequal society, you can also talk about the effects and help them see the injustices. One way to do this is to read books that are critical of norms to them, which can provide other role models and to read them yourself so that you as a parent have an idea of how to respond to different issues.
How do you equip young girls with the confidence and courage to stand up for their right to be exactly who they are, with all that that entails, in how they dress and what they express. To dare to think, dream and grow freely?
– Yes, it is clear that it is harder and harder as algorithms tell girls how they should look, what body shape is preferred, that you should wear makeup and that your value as a girl often depends on being pretty or appealing to others. So that is why it becomes so incredibly important to have ongoing conversations about these issues, to limit certain social media and to be a role model yourself in dressing the way you want or showing courage. As a young person, you want to fit in, it is in the nature of things, and then you can talk about why it is like that and for whose sake you wear makeup or dress in certain ways.
How can we talk to young people about porn and sex in a non-judgmental way? To maintain the joy of life and the desire in it, but at the same time be clear that consent is the most important thing. That no one has more right to their desire than anyone else.
– I think the question is a bit tricky, but that questions about porn are usually based on how we should not shame or judge. I rarely think we actually do that. However, we risk creating a lot of fuss if we don't talk about porn and sex with young people. Then it really becomes something shameful. So talking about sex as something that should always feel pleasurable and safe and that sex in porn is presented in a way that could mean that you cross other people's boundaries if you just take inspiration from there without really ensuring consent, reciprocity and curiosity is important for young people! That's why it can be great to start conversations with "I'm reading a book right now and it says that ... what do you think about it?"
How do you usually talk about abuse? What is the response usually like? Are there any questions that often arise? Is there a difference between boys and girls in how they view abuse, in terms of whether others are being victimized or if it would affect them themselves?
– I often talk about abuse and it depends entirely on who I talk to! When I talk to young people, I describe what the law says, which of always seeking consent, in which relationships abuse mainly occurs and that young people should understand what constitutes abuse. With adults, I talk more about consequences, the importance of talking to young people and asking questions! And of course signals of vulnerability, what they can do to prevent and the extent.
Young people also want to talk about abuse. They want to know what abuse is and they really want to talk about sexuality, porn and how good relationships should be. Every single study shows that young people lack conversation and my own experiences after meeting young people for almost ten years show exactly that. They want to talk to adults and they want more knowledge!
What do you hope for in the future?
– That issues of violence prevention linked to violence in close relationships receive more attention and are not considered an issue we only talk about when another man has killed a woman he lived with. That everyone understands what a difference they can make by asking, knocking on the door of their neighbor and acting in other ways. That we get a policy again that takes the issues seriously and understands the importance of early intervention, and of course I hope that all parents pull their gender equality straw to the pile and talk about these issues with their children and help the children develop empathy, compassion and respect for others. And that they gain knowledge about norms, consent, sex, porn and violence.
What are your three glimmers in everyday life, i.e. what makes the day sparkle a little extra?
– When it's sunny! Then everything feels possible! When I feel like I've contributed to more knowledge, increased understanding or that more people want to do more! When we dance at home or laugh at something we've just seen or experienced.
Do you have any tips you would like to give our readers?
– Remembering that you don't have to be a superhero to change someone's life. It can be enough to knock when you're worried, to ask when you're worried, or to show a little extra care. In addition, research shows that we also feel better when we contribute to others! So it's a win-win! And of course I want to thank you! Thank you for making conscious choices by reading books that broaden perspectives and create more understanding and less division!
Thank you so much Nina for letting us interview you and for the important work you do every day!💜
Follow Nina on Instagram
Read more about Nina's books!
Flowers & bees - and all the way there
Sexuality, Consent & Relationships - a textbook that makes difficult conversations easier
Side by Side - a book about feminist revolution