Attila Yoldaş is a journalist, author and lecturer with a focus on anti-racism, gender equality and resistance to macho culture. In connection with the launch of Atilla's new book "Typiskt killar!" at OLIKA, we took the opportunity to ask him a few questions. We talked about, among other things, how guys can break out of macho culture, about role models and what makes everyday life sparkle a little extra.
Hello! Who are you?
– My name is Atilla Yoldaş, I am 31 years old and I am a journalist, author and lecturer.
What makes you feel hopeful about change regarding male norms?
Lots of children and young people I meet when I lecture at schools make me very hopeful. Boys, girls and non-binary people who from a young age start speaking out, taking a stand and fighting against macho culture – that is, ideas that are harmful to ourselves and others – and try to get others to help. Who are already capable of much more than I knew at their age and who are doing everything they can to stand up for justice and equality. Wow, how they inspire me!
What do you do to recover and find new strength?
I'm an outdoor enthusiast! So I'm out in nature as much as I can. Love to hike, climb, paddle – you name it. There's no better way to take a break than sitting on a mountaintop with my dog and a bag full of coffee.
Do you have any tips for the guy who wants, but doesn't dare, to break the norm among his guy friends where they are often derogatory towards girls, make sexist and perhaps racist jokes? How can you start?
– Step one is to absolutely not participate in that kind of bullshit. Step two is to not laugh or in any way show that you think such comments are okay. Step three is to either start asking questions (perhaps to one person at a time instead of in front of the whole group) about why they say such things and ask if they understand that it is mean. Step three can also mean telling an adult you trust and asking for advice, if you don't dare talk to your guy friends. But it is important that you do something. The more we accept such comments, the greater the risk that one of them will go from words to actions and hurt other people.
How can you make men understand that they are also affected by the structure of patriarchy?
– When we clench our teeth, refuse to cry and never talk about our feelings, we feel worse. There are facts that show that as boys and men, due to macho culture, we die by suicide much more often than girls and women. It is just one of many examples of how the structure of patriarchy harms, inhibits or kills us.
Do you have any role models?
– Lots! Katarina Wennstam is one of the people I have learned a lot from. I have read her books, followed her for a long time, interviewed and met her and continue to be inspired in my private life and in my work.
Who do you seek help and support from?
– My friends and my family, I am incredibly grateful for them. When I have felt worse in my life, I have sought help from a psychologist and therapist. It is important that we all reach out when we need help and support.
Do you have any book recommendations? Or other tips for our followers?
Everyone is very welcome to read my book “Mansboken”. And on August 27th, my second book, “Typiskt killar!” was released.
Books I learned a lot from are “The Girl and the Shame” and “The Girl and the Guilt” by Katarina Wennstam, “The Macho Paradox” by Jackson Katz and “Masculinities” by RW Connell. And the podcast “Man Enough” is great!
What are your glimmers in everyday life?
When my Siberian husky, Lillie, starts talking husky language to me. It's impossible not to smile. She IS one big sparkle.
Thank you so much, Atilla, for the important work you do and for letting us talk to you! 💜
Photo: Jülide Yoldaş
Here you will find Atilla's Yoldaş book Typically guys! and tips on children's books with soft dads who play, hug and show emotions:
