Book guide: Why does the sister fight?
Do you tend to argue?
Out in the hall there is a commotion. Why does she do that? Alvdis and Hamsa wonder. Did someone fall on her? Or has someone taken her sandwich? Maybe someone had a prank, even though she didn't want to.
Why the sister fights is an emotional novel where we get to follow Alvdis and Hamsa in their clever and funny musings and thoughts about different emotions.
Questions of injustice and pranks
Hamsa and Alvdis think about why the sister is arguing. Has anyone you know ever had a fight? Do you know why she was fighting? Have you ever had a fight? Why?
Hamsa's older brother did not want to offer his candy, then Hamsa wanted to argue. How would you feel if someone didn't want to bring their candy? Do you think it's fair that one person has candy while another doesn't?
Alvdi's mother gets very angry when it is unfair. "Then she fights," says Alvdis. Look at the picture where Alvdis is with his mother. Do you think it looks like they are fighting in the picture? What do they do? Is it okay to argue when something is unfair, do you think?
Sometimes Alvdis quarrels with Hamsa. "It's only fun if both want to," he says. Have you had a fight with someone? What did he say then? Did he also want to have fun, or not?
Questions about getting dirty and arguing
Hamsa's uncle pestered Hamsa not to soil himself. "Everyone gets dirty when they play," says Alvdis. Is there a game you play where you get dirty? What could be fun about getting dirty while playing?
Alvdis gets grumpy when she sleeps too little. It will also be Hamsa's father. How do you feel if you sleep too little? What could be fun about sleeping, do you think? And is there anything that could be less fun about sleeping?
It is the sister's grandmother who has been arguing. Sister doesn't want to wear her boots, she wants her sandals! Does someone argue with you when you want to do things your way, instead of theirs?
About anger
Being angry is an emotion that is important to feel. There is a tendency to try to deflect anger because it is perceived as frightening. But anger that is allowed to be expressed in a way that is not
goes beyond others is rather good to get to know clearly. Anger is also an important signal for us that something feels wrong. Exploring emotions is therefore important so that our signaling system sends the right signals and helps us feel good. There is a tendency to think that anger is an emotion that is more okay for boys and men to feel, than for girls and women, while the opposite is true for the emotion sadness.
About adult power
Adults are both physically larger and older and therefore have more power than children. Many times we adults think that children argue or destroy instead of taking the time to ask how the children think about what is happening. From the child's perspective, it is often us adults who "argue", that is, the children do not meet. Adults have the power to set positive standards, therefore we also need to take responsibility, be responsive and listen to the children instead of dismissing them as arguing.
