Book guide: Sick goal, Kosse!
ISSUES OF NERVOUSNESS, SELF-ESTEEM AND COMMUNITY
1. At the beginning of the book, both Kosse and Emma are afraid to call the new team. Why do you think they feel that way? Have you ever felt nervous about talking to someone? What happened then? What can one think to become less nervous and afraid?
2. Kosse thinks Emma is "good at that sort of thing" and thinks she should call. What do you think about it? Has someone told you to do something you think is scary? What happened then? Have you ever tried to get someone else to do something they thought was scary? What happened then?
3. During training, the trainer says "good, Kosse" and she feels how she is "stretching". How do you think it feels to be praised? Have you given praise to someone else? Have you tried giving praise to yourself?
Exercise: Take a piece of paper and write down ten compliments to yourselves. A sentence with something that is good. It doesn't have to be things that someone is good at, but can be other things that are positive. Like: I have a nice laugh. I am good at comforting others. I'm good at math. I have happy eyes. Many people tend to focus on what is negative about themselves, and have difficulty accepting praise or become dependent on the judgments of others. That's why it's good to practice being a good friend to yourself!
4. In the car on the way to the cup in Gränna, Kosse does not sing with the others. Why doesn't she do that, do you think? What do you do when you are with people you don't know very well? How can one think to relax?
5. When Kosse calls home, she feels alone, even though she is with her team. Why do you think she feels that way? Do you have any suggestions on how Kosse can do or think to not feel alone? Do you have any suggestions for how a team or other group can do to ensure that no one feels alone or left out?
QUESTIONS ABOUT EMOTIONS, WINNERS AND
LOSER
1. Kosse gets very angry during a training session and storms out of there. What do you think about it? How could she have done instead? Have you ever been so angry? What happened then?
2. The night before Kosse is to start in her first team, she cannot sleep. Have you longed for something very much? How did it feel? Are there different kinds of longing?
3. After a win, Felicia says the other team was bad. What do you think about it? What is it to be a "good winner"? Do you think it matters how one is when one wins?
4. Kosse and the team lose the last game. What is a "good loser" like? Do you think it matters how one is when one loses?
ON SOCIAL COMPETENCE
Social competence is, for example, about how good you are at interacting with others, reading other people's feelings, listening and creating compromises that everyone is happy with. All people benefit from social skills, because it makes it easier to be with other people, have good relationships and be part of a community. But different children get to practice the skills that help us socially, such as listening, emotional coding and compromising, to varying degrees. Generally speaking, our gender norms allow girls to practice more, but not all girls are as comfortable socially as the expectations suggest. Kosse, for example, is a person who is safest when she is on the field doing what she finds fun and knows she is good at, while she finds other things more difficult.
ABOUT CONSUMPTION STANDARDS
There is an expectation of the ability to consume in society, of having a certain economic standard, a socio-economic norm. This can be seen in expectations around things such as gifts at graduation, how easy it is to ask everyone to contribute money to some school activity or that all children have access to surfing in a smartphone. It is true that a large group in society today has no problem paying such things, and many have much more than that. But at the same time, the gaps between the haves and the have-nots are increasing, creating different conditions for different children. In this book, reflection is given to those children for whom it is not obvious to be able to buy all the things that one wants or that is needed for a leisure activity.
