Why is it important to teach children about consent already in preschool?

Consent is an important skill. Learning to read others, and making sure they agree to a hug or to play. It's also about being brave to ask and that it's always better to ask one too many times than to cross someone's line.

The curriculum includes integrity as something we must create the conditions for all children to learn about. Consent is about respect for other people's privacy, not to cross other people's boundaries. Consent is a new positive norm that we create together so that today's children and young people do not have to be exposed to violence or write #metoo in the future.

In order for this to change, we need to establish new standards which mean that all children, young people and adults must be safe in preschool, at school, at work and at home. We simply need to have zero tolerance towards all forms of violence, everything from nasty comments and shoving, to so-called prank fights.

When we are going to change, it is important to show what we are going to do instead, and that is why consent is so good. The preschool simply needs to create a culture of consent!

How do we teach children consent?

Learning consent is easy. It's about learning to listen and to ask questions:

- How do I know someone wants to?
- What should I do if I am unsure?
- How does it feel when someone agrees?

Remember, it's always better to ask than to cross someone's line.

How can educators act to support the children?

To create a culture of consent, we need to start using the word consent. By doing that, and naming consent as something important, the children will understand that it is precisely important. To show the children an example, you can ask your colleague if he wants a hug? If she answers YES, you can answer: How nice that you agree to hug!

How do we create a culture of consent?

We adults are both physically bigger and older than children and therefore have more power than the children. Adults have the power to set positive, kind standards, therefore we also need to take responsibility to do this. What we adults do becomes normative for the children. When we start talking about consent, we show that it is important and thus establish a new positive culture of consent in the preschool.

Valentine's Day = Consent Day

At OLIKA, we are committed to children's rights and to creating equality for children. We like Valentine's Day because it's the day of love, and what's more loving than teaching all children about consent?

At the same time, Valentine's Day can be exclusive. Not all children, for example, want to give their parents a heart card, so since 2018 we have practiced a little extra on consent on Valentine's Day.

Anything else you want to tell us about this?

We have had such a great response to all the training we have for educators both in preschool and school, there is a huge interest in working with consent for children and young people. It really is like #metoo has changed. Before adults asked why should we work on this, now everyone asks how we should do it.

Now no one can turn a blind eye anymore without us having to act and start preventive work with consent. Instead of just saying that children must not use violence, we can now show what one should do instead - tune in so that there is consent. It's always easier to teach children by telling them what they can do instead of telling them what they can't.

Practice together!

To make it easy for you to get started, we've created a whole consent page . Here you will find tips on books and posters, and ready-made material to print out and put up at the preschool or at home.